Making it Work

Palisadian Author Wendy Fierstein Publishes Updated, Expanded Version of Her Book About Marriage

By ANASTASSIA ROBERTS | Intern

Having trouble working through a relationship? If so, Highlands resident Wendy Fierstein has you covered.

From a young age, Fierstein said she became interested in learning about the inner-workings of marriage and did countless hours of research to discover how to essentially keep a marriage on track.

In September 2016, Fierstein’s book, “You Can Live Happily Married for a Lifetime: Modern Applications of Proven, Timeless Wisdom to Create a Lasting, Successful Relationship,” was published and began to receive attention.

“If you have the right tools, marriage is not as hard as we are led to believe,” Fierstein told the Palisadian-Post.

Noting that her parents were no type of relationship role models, Fierstein said she took it into her own hands to prove that marriage really could be beneficial if handled properly.

“My inspiration came from my parents,” Fierstein shared. “As a tearful 5-year-old, watching them struggle in their dysfunctional relationship, I wished I could help them.”

When Fierstein got married herself, she made it her mission to be a part of a marriage that lasts. She and her husband have been married since 1982.

Beginning in 2020, as the COVID-19 pandemic continued on, Fierstein saw damage in many relationships as couples allowed stress from the outside world to seep into their marriage.

“We can’t control what happens in the outside world,” Fierstein said, “but we have a great deal of control over what happens in our marriage.”

Fierstein said she desperately wanted to share her advice with couples around the world, and the most logical way to do that was to write a book rather than helping one couple at a time.

In August of last year, an updated and expanded version of her previous book, “You Can Live Happily Married for a Lifetime: Practical Keys to Reboot Your Marriage and Get Back on Track,” was published.

A piece of Fierstein’s advice to couples while dealing with disagreement, which is expanded upon in her book, is to “argue about the present disagreement and not rehash history because inevitably the argument will turn to how they are arguing and past resentments, and will not be focused on resolving the problem at hand.”

Fierstein found it is important for couples to listen to their partners and only continue discussions after any initial anger has had time to settle. According to the book, partners can see each other in a very unattractive, negative way when they are angry with one another.

To avoid causing permanent damage in how couples view each other, Fierstein advised taking time to calm down and re-evaluate before continuing to focus on the issue at hand. This way, couples can come into action not as argument-provokers, but as problem-solvers.

Sometimes, Fierstein saw, even the most grounded couples can find themselves between a rock and a hard place.

“When each spouse is a ‘rock’ for each other, the moon could fall down and they would still feel safe and whole,” Fierstein said, suggesting that one of the best ways to prevent obstacles along the road from ruining a marriage is to start off the relationship with a solid base so that their foundation does “not get swept away by all the negativity.”

For someone who has had trouble finding that special someone, Fierstein has some advice as well: “Look within” and “the right one will find you.”

Fierstein shared she finds it very important for couples to pay attention to their relationship, and to take responsibility for what is and what is not working.

“If whatever they’ve been doing hasn’t been working, they need to stop doing what’s not working and start doing things that will bring harmony back into their marriage,” said Fierstein, who believes that marriage is a 50/50 partnership.

“You Can Live Happily Married for a Lifetime” has impacted couples around the world. One reader left a review describing how Fierstein’s book was helpful with their newlywed phase while another simply stated that it reminded them of all the things they should be doing to keep their marriage on track.

“When we do things to facilitate peace and harmony in our relationship,” Fierstein said, “our view of the outside world tends to soften, anxiety lessens and we feel more secure.”

Fierstein’s book is available at Amazon and wendyfierstein.com.