‘When I Married My Mother’ Author at Village Books

When author Jo Maeder declares that her mother had cared for her mother, and her grandmother had in turn cared for hers, but ‘I was Ms. Independent from a new generation,’ the reader knows right away what will be Maeder’s certain job.   In her memoir, ‘When I Married My Mother,’ Maeder relates a familiar circumstance for many adult children who find themselves in the situation of taking care of an aging parent. She will discuss her book on Friday, February 12 at 7:30 p.m. at Village Books, 1049 Swarthmore.   In Maeder’s case, the transition not only necessitated reconnecting with her mom, Mama Jo, with whom she’d maintained a safe distance, but also a move from New York City to Greensboro, North Carolina.   The obvious sea change encompasses leaving her hip, fast-paced, single life in New York, where she works as a DJ on WKTU, K-ROCK (as ‘The Rock ‘n’ Roll Madame’), and Z100, to take up residence in the Bible Belt.   In her journey, which Maeder reluctantly undertakes’her only sibling, Arthur, has both family and job obligations in Richmond, Virginia’she explores, as she says, a tsunami of emotions: anger, guilt, heartbreak and helplessness. Along the way, Maeder recalls various chapters in her childhood and younger years wherein she captures the quirkiness and lovability of her father and mother as well as various neighbors. While she was still in grammar school and presented with a choice to live with her father in Florida (where his new job took him) or stay in Washington, D.C. (which her Mama Jo refused to leave), she packed for Florida.   The book is well observed, and lively, while conveying a number of profound lessons that ultimately lead to insight and a strengthened bond between mother and daughter.   Along the way, Maeder learns to savor every moment of the three years she spent with her mother, from watching old Andy Griffith episodes to dancing with drag queens.   She is frank when relaying her broken relationship with her mother (‘I strongly suspect if you’re not right with your mama, you’re not going to be right with anyone’) and is just as honest in sharing how much she enjoyed caring for her mother.   ’Occasionally, someone would make a comment to me about how I was earning a halo or angel winds by taking care of my mother, as though it were an unpleasant obligation. It felt strange to hear that. I didn’t deserve any special recognition. I enjoyed doing this. It was an honor.’