Since her junior high school days in 1955, Bobbie Farberow participated in one Chanukah tradition that has stayed exactly the same: a party with five of her closest girlfriends’Helen Katz, Gloria Crane, Anne Geffner, Maureen Bordan and Tova Weltman. On Tuesday, the six women met once again to celebrate the holiday. Farberow, owner of Mort’s Deli, explained why the party is late this year and has been since their children grew up. “Many of us don’t have children who live in Los Angeles, so we travel to see them over the holiday; the friends get together afterwards.” Their custom started when all were eighth and ninth graders at John Burrows Junior High School. The six girls lived in Fairfax-area apartment duplexes in close proximity to each other. “We walked places together and stayed at each other’s houses,” Farberow said. “On my first date with Mort, my friends were all at my house when he picked me up. He took one look at the five of them and said, ‘Maybe we should stay home.'” The six did everything together. “We even smoked our first cigarettes together,” Farberow reminisces. “All of us were together the summer we turned 16’and all met our husbands during that summer.” The friends and families were so close that when Helen decided to marry her boyfriend Sid, she brought him to meet Farberow’s father, Al Cordish, and get his approval. As each woman married, they were not only in the others’ weddings, but they shared bridesmaid dresses: Gloria even wore Bobbie’s wedding dress. After marriage all went to different colleges and down different career paths. Bobbie went to L.A. City College and then graduated with the first graduating class with a degree in education from San Fernando College, which became Cal State Northridge. The Education department even gave Bobbie and Mort their wedding shower. Until recently retiring, Gloria, who lives in Beverlywood, was the Regional Director of the Jewish Federation. Ann, who lives in Century City, was a preschool director and has written two children’s books. Maureen was a teacher and lived in the Highlands until she recently retired with her husband to Carmel. Katz lives in Los Feliz and Tova is a travel agent who lives in Bel Air. All still remain close friends. “When we were younger, none of us could afford to go out to dinner,” Farberow said. “We went to each others’ houses. “We all struggled and that’s the way it was,” she says. “I stayed home with my kids, so we didn’t have a lot of furniture the first seven or eight years. Mort and I decided that since he was away so much, one of us should stay with our children.” The friends were supportive of each other. When Mort opened his butcher shop all of their friends came to buy meat from him. The friends talked to each other often. There was one unwritten rule in their relationship. “We have never ever said a bad word about anyone else’s husband,” Farberow said. “It was off-limits.” Their 11 children grew up thinking of each other as cousins. “When they were little,” Farberow said, “They’d ask how they were related.” Through the years, the six women have given baby and wedding showers for the children and 16 grandchildren. “We recently had a baby shower for Gloria’s youngest child,” Farberow said. The six friends rotate who gives the showers. “We never compared who had the best houses or cars,” Farberow said. “Our friendship went deeper than that and still does.” The six women shared similar values, the commitment towards working through problems and hard work. It seems as if it’s a different age now. Recently one of the friends told Farberow, “The rest of the world is crazy, except for us.” When the friends started turning 60 they celebrated each of the six birthdays exactly the same way. They all went away together for the weekend to Santa Barbara without their spouses or children. On one of the getaways, they had brunch at the house of Gail Moss, another high school friend and the editor of Architectural Digest. They celebrated their 65th birthdays by going out to dinner, the other five planning the sixth’s party. When they first started the Chanukkah tradition it was only the six women. Once they had children they brought them to the party as well. It’s only been in the past few years that they’ve started including husbands. Except for Ann, who is divorced, and Bobbie, who is widowed, all are still married to the men they met when they were 16. “We all bring a $10 gift to the party and do an exchange,” Farberow said. “We also celebrate Passover together, but it’s usually after the holiday. I thought at this stage in my life, I’d have nothing but time for my friends.” It’s an amazing story of six friends who have stayed together longer than most people stay married. Even Farberow admits, “I don’t know what made the magic.” For an outsider, it becomes clear the magic clearly comes from women who share similar values and who served as an extended family for each other, helping to raise each other’s children and supporting each other during good times and bad.
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