Poignant Reflections by A Chinese Exchange Student

Editor’s Note: Jingwen (Tissie) Liu, 17, grew up as an only child in Beijing. She has been living this school year in Mar Vista with the Lynch family. Host mom Erin Lynch is the daughter of Grace Hiney, the Post’s restaurant reviewer. 

I still remember the complex feeling when I stepped away from my mom and dad and walked steadily towards the entrance of my airplane at the airport in Beijing. I was a little bit nervous but very excited. I knew that a new page in my life would start right then after nearing a hundred days and nights’ anxious anticipation. “The year ahead will be full of novelty and challenge which you have to face all by yourself,” I told to myself.

Stepping out of the plane in Los Angeles, I was standing on the land of a whole new country—everywhere, different scenery, different language, different people. I was really overwhelmed, but at the same time I feel like I immediately melted in the warm welcome from a new family waiting for my arrival.

As soon as I saw the handmade Chinese and American flag I realized that in the year ahead there would be lots of Chinese-American cultural communication and impact waiting for me and that I won’t be lonely any more because for the first time in my life I was going to have siblings! Three of them, smiling so natural and pure without any worry or pressure.

Being an exchange student was not an easy thing: there were all kinds of obstacles waiting for me to conquer: language barriers, emotional fluctuations, culture difference. But overall, after you successfully got through all the difficulties and looked backward, you could tell how much you have changed and how much you appreciate this wonderful and unique experience. The truth is: I have really learned a lot beyond schools!

The first lesson was learning how to have fun and how to color a life. Instead of facing textbooks and notes almost all the time getting prepared for the Gaokao in China because of the pressure from the society, peers and parents; here, I started getting rid of what I was used to and began to try out all kinds of fascinating new things for the first time.

Because of the easy access to the beach and sea, I was so lucky to go real surfing (on a surfing board) for the first time! Though very bad at it compared to the other kids who were born beside the ocean, I still experienced great fun struggling with the strong waves and salty water. Collecting shells and playing with sand and sea crabs were also great things to do in front of the giant Pacific Ocean. When tiredness comes, lying on the warm beach under the bright sunshine and feeling the cool sea breeze was the most luxurious moment. As I face the pure blue ocean, all the unhappiness was blown away, leaving only comfort and fulfillment in my body. I taste the sweetness of enjoying life instead of struggling all the time to reach the expectations of other people.

Along with surfing, there were many more things that I have never imagined I could do before: planting vegetables, doing gardening, raising bees, playing with the pet dog, hanging out with brothers and sisters, enjoying raw fish, going fishing in the sea, diving deep into the ocean, trying to roll on a trampoline, going hiking, sharing a room with a younger sister who is studying Chinese, going to indoor mountain climbing, joining in Frisbee games, attending proms. I kept meeting new people, tasting new food and trying all the exciting new things. A world-shaking change from my former monotone and regular lifestyle occurred.

The second lesson I learned is sharing and being responsible. When sharing a room with a sister, you have to make all kinds of compromises. Morning time is always busy, both of us need to use bathroom, get dressed. So discussion and arrangement and comity are necessary. Also, as kids, we all have duties for the family. Unlike China where both parents pay attention to one child and are willing to do all the things for them, here, I had to learn how to be independent and take care of myself and, at the same time, share duties to water plants, feed the dog, wash dishes, cook meals, pick ripe fruit and clean the room. Becoming the eldest child of the family, I also have more responsibility on my shoulders: I needed to be a teacher helping them with their problems; be a guardian who sometimes cooks for them; be a mediator dealing with some sorts of relation friction. I feel like I have grown up quickly in this way.

The next thing I learned is that in our lives, we have to be confident and brave to face all kinds of changes and challenges. Schoolwork was hard for me, especially at the beginning. I had to face all the new courses in my second language and get used to my computer, which is seldom used for studying in China. During the first few weeks, I was sometimes really disappointed that it took me twice as long as my classmates to get things done, but I never complained about it, believing it was just a hard time I had to conquer. Then came a big history test. I remembered clearly after that test, my teacher highly praised me via e-mail: “Your essay is excellent! Right on target and with ample support!” That’s the most wonderful message I have ever received! I felt that all my efforts paid off at that moment. “Believe in yourself and bravely step onward!” was what my host father always said to me. I seldom had chances to express my opinion or speak in public before; I had to conquer a lot of my inner fear every time I spoke in front of crowds here.

Now I am deeply in love with this beautiful diverse land full of freedom and tolerance and hope. It was not until I came here that I started to discover the uniqueness of myself instead of always following others and doing what I had been told to do. This fantastic experience convinces me that nothing is impossible as long as you truly want to get and fight for it.

I will always remember my lovely host family and my brilliant school. America, I will come back!

Tissie is a junior at Brentwood School, where her host father John Lynch teaches. She is currently visiting college campuses in the U.S., and will be returning home to China in June.