New parents often join a baby group to learn techniques for taking care of their infants and to connect with other people going through the same experience. This community can be–emotionally and informationally–a lifesaver for moms who might otherwise feel lost or overwhelmed during an exciting but challenging time. Palisades resident Marsha Myers Kamer felt so grateful for the information and support she received in Donna Holloran’s babygroup, Inc. classes that she and fellow mom Joanne Pauley decided to capture the experience on film for other new parents. They launched the instructional DVD, “Surviving and Thriving During Your Baby’s First Year,” last month. Holloran, a noted child development specialist and parent educator, will discuss some techniques from the DVD on Sunday, December 17 at 11 a.m. at Spanky Lane, 860 Via de la Paz, across from Domino’s. The two-disc boxed set is divided into the first and last half of baby’s first year and features ‘live’ babygroup classes. Holloran sits on the floor with a group of eight or nine moms and their babies, and leads a discussion on the most common questions and concerns shared by new parents, from “soothing and swaddling” and “solid foods” to “returning to work” and “separation anxiety.” The babies make noises, nurse, and play with toys throughout the sessions, sometimes demonstrating the very behavior (“fussiness”) that their parents are discussing. Every topic is followed by an on-screen review or “cheat sheet,” and each disc ends with the parents singing to their children, which automatically quiets and calms them. “It’s ‘Parenting 101′ and a support group,” says Kamer, whose son, Ben, 3, graduated from babygroup last year. “It’s people who understand what’s going on with you right then. They understand what you’re struggling with and they don’t mind talking about the same stuff–ad nauseam.” The idea for the DVD originated when Kamer and some other moms she’d met in Holloran’s babygroup were socializing outside the class, without their children, and started talking about how fortunate they were to have this “network.” They wanted to reach out to those parents who did not have the opportunity to join a baby group and might be feeling lost or in need of support and advice. “We didn’t want to make it a snotty British nanny telling you what to do or a doctor in a lab coat being really dry,” says Kamer, a TV writer and producer who wrote for “Becker” and “Murphy Brown,” and is currently writing a pilot for Lifetime. She and Pauley also did not want parents to feel guilty for not doing something the “right” way. “What’s great about Donna is there’s no judgment,’ Kamer says. ‘There are a few things that are absolutes, like that babies need to be put to sleep on their backs, but, basically, it’s different approaches to what’s right. It’s what’s right for each family. It’s about how to care for your baby in a compassionate way without feeling guilty.” Kamer learned about babygroup when she was seven months pregnant with Ben and was initially waitlisted to join one of Holloran’s classes, which are held once a week in the First Presbyterian Church in Santa Monica. A spot opened up for her, and the class “became the highlight of my week,’ Kamer says. “Having a child, I had no idea how different my life was going to be–180 degrees turned around–and how, for a while anyway, I would be out of sync with people in my life who were not new parents.” Not only did babygroup give Kamer a community of other parents who eventually became some of her closest friends, but also information that made her life easier, such as how to get Ben to stop crying in car or how to keep him “still” for 20 minutes so she could take a shower. Kamer felt that putting this knowledge on a DVD was important because while moms usually don’t have time to read parenting books during the first year of their baby’s life, they often find themselves at home on the couch, in front of the television. With a DVD, they can go straight to the topic of their choice. “What’s really helpful, say, if you’re trying to get your baby to sleep through the night, is that you get some encouragement and maybe another piece of advice you could try,” Kamer says. Parents who have seen the DVD have said they particularly liked the “sleeping” and “adjusting to motherhood” discussions. “In the 6-to-12-months section, there are moms talking about whether or not they’re ever going to have sex again,” Kamer says. “It gets very comfortable and familiar and real.” The idea is that this ‘virtual community’ is always available to help both new and ‘repeat’ parents having their second or third child, who may need a refresher course. ‘Some women have joked that they liked seeing people who looked as tired as they did,’ Kamer says. ‘This group is available to you at 4 a.m. No one cares if you washed your hair or brushed your teeth. They’re there.’ Holloran, who founded babygroup, inc. in Los Angeles 1996, produced the DVD with Pauley and Kamer. Palisades moms Nikki Rifkin and Tiffany Lemons appear in the DVD, along with former Palisadian Jenn Linardos. For more information or to purchase the DVD, call (800) 771-2147 or visit babygroupvideo.com.
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