When American modernist painter Ben Norris began to write his memoir in 1998 at age 88, he relied not only on his own diaries and daybooks, but also happily upon his daughter Maggie Castrey, who edited the book ‘Ben Norris: American Modernist, 1910-2006,’ and his niece Bridget Norris, the family archivist, who provided many of the book’s black-and-white photographs. The name ‘Norris’ rings a bell here in Pacific Palisades, for Ben was the oldest son of Clarissa and Robert Norris, who in 1923 relocated from Hollywood to the start-up community of Pacific Palisades, encouraged by Clarissa’s older brother, Rev. Charles Scott, president of the founding association. Robert established a plumbing shop on the corner of Temescal Canyon Road and Beverly Boulevard (now Sunset) to supply essentials for the growing community. The shop later became Norris Hardware, now located adjacent to Ralphs, near the corner of Sunset and La Cruz, which was operated for many years by Chuck Norris, the youngest of Robert Norris’s five children. While Ben Norris went on to enjoy a long life living all over the world’Hawaii, Japan, New York City’his book provides fond, detailed reminiscences of his teenage years here, from 1923 to 1927. His father built a Southern California Spanish-style house at 1134 Kagawa St., while his uncle, Charles Scott, built ‘a grand house’ on Via de la Paz. Vera Norris, Chuck’s widow, recalls the Kagawa house: ‘They had two big lots. Mr. Norris was a gardener and grew vegetables and trees. I miss that very much.’ As with all Palisades children in the early days, Ben attended school outside the community. ‘The Palisades was technically a part of the city of Los Angeles, but no suitable Los Angeles schools were yet available near enough, so in the eighth grade, I entered Lincoln Junior High School in Santa Monica,’ he writes. Ben chronicles an early interest in music and drama in ‘Ben Norris: American Modernist,’ and thrived in the creative environment here. The Methodist Church also occupied his time: he played in the Sunday school orchestra as second chair first violin, attended church service with the adults and Epworth League activities for young people, and ‘tried hard to be good.’ Later in life, Norris explained that he was ‘no longer in the lingering grasp of the notion of original sin,’ and became a Quaker. Norris’s interest in the natural world and his inclination to observe it carefully began while he was at University High. He got a job at a nursery in his senior year, which he ‘found thoroughly interesting, opening packages of seeds from far-off places’I remember the first time I encountered ‘Frangipani’ in a packet sent from Tahiti. Later, in Hawaii, I came to recognize in the plumeria, the common tourists’ lei flower, the name that prompted a tropical reverie in my youth.’ He also was elected editor-in-chief of the senior yearbook, ‘a big, elaborately produced hardcover volume with hand-colored section pages. We designed all the artwork ourselves, then organized teams to do the coloring before sending the plates to be bound in by the printers.’ Norris, who was 13 years older than Chuck, left for Pomona College in 1927, where his interest in art flourished and prompted a hunger to study further and to immerse himself in the study of the great Western art masterpieces. He used the college’s Honnold Fellowship and its stipend (‘a princely $1,500’) to travel to Harvard, where he began graduate studies in art history. Stimulated, challenged and enjoying talking about ‘everything in the world’ with new friends, Norris nevertheless was called back to his ‘half-dead desire to paint, to make something.’ Restrained by the Depression, the Honnold committee renewed his grant for a reduced $700, to which Norris added $300 from the Institute of International Education and departed for Europe, where he allowed himself more time to study what he wanted and experience ‘The Grand Tour’ American style. Norris hardly traveled in a lordly fashion, mostly spending his days with sketchbook and watercolors while making his way from France to Spain to Italy, visiting both the great museums and tiny towns, where he ‘learned how to identify the room above the bar that could be rented for a night.’ The aspiring artist gravitated to architectural renderings and learned to look at things as an artist, not as a historical student.   By the time he returned to the United States in the summer of 1933, Norris had amassed a cache of watercolors and drawings, which became the subject of several one-man shows’including one in Claremont. He moved back to Pacific Palisades for a time until he found work, first teaching in a school on Westmoreland, later at an animation studio. Times were tough and jobs paid meager wages, but Norris was free to do and go anywhere. The next decision in his life, really more practical than passionate, set his course for the next 40 years. He sailed for Hawaii on the SS Lurline in September 1936 to take a job as housefather and art teacher at the Kamehameha School for Boys. Always seeking out the art community, Norris was offered a major showing at the Honolulu Academy of Arts, which obviously included mostly California paintings, with a few new Hawaiian landscapes. ‘I found a studio in what had once been part of the kitchen of the former Royal Hawaiian Hotel downtown, before the Pink Palace on the beach at Waikiki,’ Norris writes. He also joined the faculty at the University of Hawaii and became the lone full-time instructor. In 1940, Norris married Peggy Sheffield, whom he had met through a mutual friend. They rented a small house in the rain forest on Mount Tantalus and started a family. The war began abruptly on Sunday morning as the couple listened to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir on the radio.   ’We heard some gunfire that sounded like target practice out at sea, and wondered at the Navy being that industrious on a Sunday. A voice came over the radio, ‘The Islands are under enemy attack! Leave your radio on for announcements and instructions. The station will now go off the air.’   ’We quickly walked through the woods to a lookout where we could see through the trees. There were planes in the sky, and my wife said, aghast, ‘They’re not ours!’ We saw the smoke pouring up from the sunken ships, and scattered bursts of erratic antiaircraft fire.’   The war closed the university and thrust the island into quarantine with attendant curfew and deprivations. Norris found work with the government designing camouflage for military installations and later working for the U.S. Geological Survey.   For the decade following the war, Norris was primarily engaged in his teaching and administrative duties in the art department at the university and doing his best to be a good husband and father, all of this ‘leaving little time for my own painting expeditions.’ Yet, as he matured as an artist, he found more and more interest in challenging the media, and employed lessons he learned from others. He invited a number of well-known artists to Hawaii to participate in the visiting-scholar program he set up at the university. These included Max Ernst, Josef Albers and Jean Charlot. ‘Thanks to what I learned from these distinguished guest artists, I was able to move more confidently toward abstraction and breaking up the picture plane,’ Norris writes. ‘What was exceptional about my dad was the tremendous variety of styles and media he pursued over his career,’ Maggie says. ‘He never painted for the market. If he had settled into seascapes, we would all have been living in mansions.’   Norris’s memoir focuses a great deal on his painting and is unusually descriptive in explaining his process while being comprehensible to the reader.   No doubt, his daughter Maggie was helpful in assisting in arranging and editing the material. She and her brothers, Stephen and Peter, enjoyed a blissfully free childhood where the only rule was ‘Do not accept a ride from a stranger.’ After she graduated from high school in 1964, Maggie went on to Pomona, her father’s alma mater. ‘We had a trusting relationship,’ she says. ‘He respected and appreciated my abilities as writer and editor, and I was the member of the family most involved with him as an artist. Dad loved to talk about his work, and himself. After all, he was a lifetime career lecturer and teacher. He was erudite and articulate.’ Norris eventually left Hawaii and ‘retired’ in New York a month after his 66th birthday. He and Peggy had divorced, his children were launched and he wanted to ‘measure myself as an artist in the ‘capital’ of the Art World.’ While he continued to make art and show in galleries, he also began to come to terms with himself as an artist and intellect. ‘My inner need to be recognized has diminished,’ he writes in the final chapter of this book, at age 92. ‘I have had enough acknowledgment of my work to be able to move away from strong wishes for others’ approval to more confidence in my own acceptance of my art as good.’ Ben Norris continued to paint until he was 90, Maggie says. ‘Up until 92, he would call me every week and I would go and visit him often.’ (‘Ben Norris: American Modernist 1910-2006,’ Copley Square Press, $55, is available at Village Books, 1049 Swarthmore Ave.)

Las Madrinas honored 32 Southern California families and their daughters for their service to the Southern California community and Childrens Hospital Los Angeles at the annual Las Madrinas Ball on December 21 at the Beverly Hilton Hotel.   More than 800 guests from the greater Los Angeles area, including the debutantes and their families and friends, gathered to celebrate with the members of Las Madrinas.   Las Madrinas president and Pacific Palisades resident Kathleen McRoskey formally welcomed the families and guests, and thanked everyone for joining Las Madrinas with their support of the group’s research programs at Childrens Hospital Los Angeles. She spoke of the organization’s current program, the Las Madrinas Endowment for Autism Research, Interventions and Outcomes, and then recognized the Ball Chairman, Hilary Maybank and Debutante Chairman, Vicky Strickland.   Las Madrinas has supported pediatric medicine for over 75 years and is one of the first Affiliate Groups of Childrens Hospital Los Angeles. In 1939, Las Madrinas began its tradition of honoring families who have demonstrated a commitment to the civic, cultural and philanthropic life of the Los Angeles community by presenting their daughters at the annual Las Madrinas Ball.   Donations made in honor of the young women by their families and the annual support of the members and friends of Las Madrinas have created six research endowments at the hospital since 1988.   Founded in 1901, Childrens Hospital Los Angeles has been treating the most seriously ill and injured children for more than a century, and it is acknowledged throughout the United States and around the world for its leadership in pediatric and adolescent health.

For a fun night out, Theatre Palisades is staging Neil Simon’s ‘Chapter Two’ at the Pierson Playhouse, 941 Temescal Canyon Road. The romantic comedy continues through (aptly enough) February 14. ‘Chapter Two’ is a tale of two singles. The story, like its set, is bifurcated to present two characters on a collision course. The widower George Schneider (Philip Bartolf) is a professional writer who recently lost Barbara, his wife of 12 years. ‘For a living, I write spy novels,’ he says. ‘For posterity, I write good novels.’ Despite his own marital problems, his brother Leo (Dan Adams) is insistent on trying to fix up George. ‘Leo, I’m busy,’ George quips. ‘I’ve written 300 pages of my new book and I don’t have a story yet.’ Meanwhile, actress Jennie Malone (Christel Smith) has no appetite to date. The listless divorc’e informs her pushy friend, Faye (Lisa Cicchetti), that she will instead visit her folks in Cleveland for ‘a couple of days, a couple of weeks.’ ‘In Cleveland, a couple of days is a couple of weeks,’ Faye counters. George’s mistaken call to Jennie evolves into a first date, which speeds into a relationship. And that’s when things get complicated, as George’s love for his beloved Barbara casts a shadow over this new relationship, despite Jennie’s infinite patience. So will it work out? Or will George sabotage his second shot at happiness? Produced by Martha Hunter, ‘Chapter Two’ may be the best production mounted by Theatre Palisades in the last couple of years. Director Sherman Wayne stages the action confidently, complementing his clean set and light design. The show benefits from its tight, four-person cast. Bartolf deftly navigates the play’s comedic and dramatic passages. Smith’s interpretation of Jennie is something of a strange bird that takes flight as the show marches on. Adams sparkles as Leo, animating him with a boisterous comic energy reminiscent of characters from a Frank Tashlin movie. Adams and Cicchetti’s comic relief blossoms as Leo and Faye, each saddled with troubled marriages, conduct a clunky affair. ‘I want a girl who looks exactly like you and thinks exactly like me,’ Leo tells his lover. June Lissandrello delivers character-defining wardrobe, most noticeably with Smith’s smart, sexy outfits and Leo’s amusing penchant for zipped-up leather jackets. If there’s one grating element about the play, it’s in Simon’s script, as George becomes somewhat unlikable in act two. George’s concerns sound petty and self-important (particularly juxtaposed against a week in which the Haitian situation dominates the news). The impulse is to tell the guy to get over himself. Ultimately, one chalks George’s behavior up to the howlings of a wounded widower. Besides, Simon’s plays often explore a facet of the author’s life, and writers can be self-absorbed. At a recent show, pre-teens filled the first row. One wonders whether they enjoyed the references to JFK, Margaret Mead, and ‘The African Queen.’ Although there’s little here that could not be aired on television, parents should be aware that ‘Chapter Two’ addresses mature themes. Friday and Saturdays at 8 p.m. Sunday matinees at 2 p.m. Contact: 310-454-1970. Visit theatrepalisades.org.

Author Jim Jennewein will read and sign ‘RuneWarriors: Sword of Doom,’ the second book in his series, on Friday, January 22 at 7:30 p.m. at Village Books on Swarthmore. Co-written with Tom Parker, ‘Sword of Doom’ is a fantasy-adventure set during the time of the Vikings. Told with humor, the adventure begins when Dane the Defiant is summoned to the fortress of King Eldred to receive the final piece of his father’s legacy: an ancient sword bearing mysterious signs that lead to the treasure of the gods. But the treasure is cursed, and then Dane’s mother is kidnapped. Braving an army of angry trolls and warring frost giants, Dane must decipher cryptic clues and embark on a quest to find the enchanted treasure and save his mother. The ‘RuneWarrior’ series is aimed at middle-school readers, but ‘it is written to be as equally appealing for adults as it is to kids,’ Jennewein says. Surprisingly, the series has become a hit with girls because its female lead, Astrid, is a powerful force. Rustic Canyon resident Jennewein had been writing screenplays with Parker for nearly 20 years before they attempted ‘RuneWarriors: Shield of Odin,’ the first book of the trilogy (released in paperback in December).   ’I had always dreamed of writing fiction, but had been too busy writing scripts, until 9/11,’ Jennewein told the Palisadian-Post in 2007. ‘Like many people, the sudden tragedy that day spurred me into an awareness that life was short and that I should get to work immediately on that which mattered most to me.’ Jennewein is familiar with the middle-school literature and the audience because his son, Jake, is an eighth grader at Paul Revere Middle School. Jennewein, who grew up in St. Louis and graduated from Notre Dame, is married to Allison Robbins, who has her own wine brokerage business, Allison Robbins Wines. She represents about 20 boutique wineries from Napa, Sonoma, Oregon and Washington. When Jennewein is not writing, he’s drawing cartoons, hiking Temescal Canyon or watching Marx Brothers movies. Jennewein and Parker, a Topanga resident, have several movies to their credit, including ‘The Flintstones,’ ‘Richie Rich,’ and ‘Getting Even With Dad.’ They currently have Pierce Brosnan attached to a script about Irish gangsters called ‘Thieves’ World’ that they are shopping around. The duo has appeared at schools throughout Southern California with their book. Last spring, they gave a presentation at Palisade Elementary about Viking culture and Norse mythology. They have already completed the third book in the series, which should be released later this year. ‘We still have to do some refinements, but once that is done, we will probably start a new book series,’ Jennewein said, adding that they are also writing a new feature screenplay.

Chamber of Commerce Will Pay Tribute to Gavin MacLeod’s Diverse Career

Gavin MacLeod wears many hats. For many, the actor is best known for his role as Captain Merrill Stubing on the long-running ABC series, ‘The Love Boat.’ For older viewers, he’ll always be Murray Slaughter, part of the ensemble cast of the Emmy Award-winning sitcom ‘The Mary Tyler Moore Show.’ Cinephiles may remember him fondly for numerous collaborations with director Blake Edwards. To theatergoers, he’s the stage-trained thespian who has graced countless productions, from ‘Carousel’ and ‘Gypsy’ to ‘High Button Shoes’ and ‘Grossinger’s.’ He’s served as the popular, approachable Honorary Mayor of Pacific Palisades since 2006. And did we mention that he once went by the moniker “Big Chicken”? (More on that later…) On January 20 at 7 p.m., MacLeod will appear onstage at the Pierson Playhouse, as the focus of Q&A session and a one-hour documentary by filmmaker Steve Vittoria spotlighting his diverse career in entertainment. Arnie Wishnick, executive director of the Pacific Palisades Chamber of Commerce, says only that ‘a big announcement’ will be made that evening. The scuttlebutt is the ‘announcement’ will be that MacLeod has agreed to an unprecedented third term as honorary mayor. June will mark the 77-year-old’s fifth year in the role, exceeding two-term mayors Ted Knight (1981-84) (who co-starred on ‘Mary Tyler Moore’), musician John Raitt (1990-95) and comic actor Steve Guttenberg (2004-2008). If the rumor proves true, it’s only fitting. MacLeod is truly an active part of the community fabric, and not merely by fulfilling his mayoral obligations to appear at Chamber-sponsored events. It is not unusual to spot MacLeod patronizing the shops along Swarthmore or dropping by the Chamber office to kibitz with Wishnick and administrative assistant Marilyn Crawford. ‘Getting to know some of the merchants has made the Palisades alive for me,’ MacLeod says. MacLeod is definitely not the type of actor who is allergic to people, hiding from fans behind a pair of shades or holing himself up in his mansion fortress. He is as accessible as celebrities come. In fact, he plans to do a public reading of a play which arrived in the mail unsolicited from an aspiring playwright. Last month, the honorary mayor discussed career highlights with the Palisadian-Post over a Mayor’s Burger at the Village Pantry as, coincidentally, the burger’s namesake”former L.A. mayor and current Pantry owner Richard Riordan” happened to be holding court inside the Pantry’s sister restaurant, the Oak Room, next door. On February 28, 1932, MacLeod, n’ Allan George See, was born in Mount Kisco, New York, to Margaret and George See. George died of colon cancer at age 38 when the actor was barely a teenager. Raised in Pleasantville, NY, MacLeod has one sibling, Ron, 76. At age four, MacLeod had heard the applause while performing in a kindergarten play that set him on his career path. By age 16, he performed at Carnegie Hall”as part of a dance band. The budding entertainer played percussion. That same year, he received a drama scholarship to attend Ithaca College in upstate New York. While attending Ithaca College, MacLeod penned a children’s book, ‘Henry the Milk Bottle,’ for a class assignment. MacLeod spent his early days in entertainment causing trouble as a postmodern playwright. His conceptual piece, ‘The Indian Hoop Dancer from Ogden, UT,’ was mounted at Theater West in Studio City. It involved the opera diva Madame Poncelli (based on Madame Zabella, a real-life character in Ithaca, NY). A person planted in the audience would leap on stage and strangle the character. Someone called the cops”real police”who broke up the show. ‘It was what we called a ‘happening,” MacLeod says. ‘I wanted to see if I could get the audience affected.’ MacLeod’s big break came in 1955 with the Broadway production of ‘A Hatful of Rain.’ MacLeod remembers one actor in the cast who stood out. Even MacLeod’s mother, in the audience once night, commented on the young man, who radiated a magnetic charisma. His name was Steve McQueen. ‘He had that thing that my mother just wanted to put her arms around him,’ MacLeod says. MacLeod and McQueen later appeared in the 1966 film ‘The Sand Pebbles.’ ??You might say the actor was on ‘MacLeod 9’ whenever he worked with Blake Edwards. MacLeod played the heavy on episodes of ‘Peter Gunn’ and ‘Mr. Lucky’ and appeared in the feature films ‘Operation Petticoat,’ ‘High Time’ and ‘The Party.’ Enter the pompadour-proper police detective Steve MacGarrett with the 1970s. Some cast members who have worked on ‘Hawaii Five-O’ found the show’s star a perfectionist (that’s diplomatic for ‘prima donna’), however MacLeod’s experiences playing opposite Jack Lord were favorable. He portrayed a tough drug dealer named Big Chicken in a pair of episodes. ‘I heard from many actors that Jack was hard to work with,’ MacLeod said of Lord in 2008. ‘We got along great! I was very lucky…I got to eat lunch with Jack in his private, air-conditioned trailer. Jack mentioned making a movie together in Spain that never happened.’ But MacLeod truly made his name on television as Murray on ‘Mary Tyler Moore,’ considered by critics to be one of the best situation comedies of all time. In its 1970-77 run, the show won 29 Emmys (a feat topped only by ‘Frasier’ with 37 Emmys by 2004). MacLeod and cast mate Knight had a close friendship which preceded ‘Mary.’ Both shared an agent early in their career. To this day, MacLeod’s eyes well up when talking about Knight, who passed away in 1986. Hot off the show’s success, MacLeod’s agent was awash in offers. ‘Three projects came my way. One was a twist on Murray, but he was a cowboy, Jeff Bridges was to play lead, but I didn’t like the idea of being a cowboy because while shooting ‘Big Valley,’ I had been thrown from a horse.’ Another offer was a drama by Aaron Ruben, co-creator of ‘The Andy Griffith Show,’ set in Depression-era Pittsburgh. A third option was an NBC sitcom ‘mocking the president [Jimmy Carter].’ Then came the call from his agent that would become the rudder of the ship that navigated MacLeod’s destiny. MacLeod: ‘He said, ‘Aaron Spelling wants you to do a pilot. I think it sucks but do you want to read it?.” MacLeod loved the script. ‘It had three different kinds of stories,’ he says. ‘Broad comedy, sophisticated comedy, and poignant story. I thought to myself, ‘If they cast this right, people are gonna love this show.” MacLeod met at Spelling’s Holmby Hills mansion, where the uber-producer understood MacLeod’s commitment to finishing his duties in a production of ‘Annie Get Your Gun,’ starring Debbie Reynolds, touring Los Angeles and San Francisco. Spelling told him, ‘We’ll write the part short or long for you, whatever you like. I just want you to say ‘yes.” MacLeod did. Initially, Capt. Stubing was not so sympathetic. ‘I was the scourge of the Seven Seas,’ MacLeod says. ‘I wore sunglasses over my eyes as a device to hide what I was really thinking.’ But he quickly found his character’s warm core. ‘The Love Boat’ was an instant hit for ABC when it debuted in 1977. It ran for nine years, and inspired the 1990 TV movie. Between voyages for the show and his gig since 1986 as Princess Cruises spokesman, to paraphrase Johnny Cash, ‘MacLeod’s been everywhere, man!’ Favorite destination: Lake Como, Italy. ‘It inspired an industry,’ MacLeod says of ‘Love Boat.’ ‘I’m still making a living because of that show. It brought Princess Cruises and cruises to everyone’s attention.’ ‘Love Boat’ routinely featured guest stars such as Florence Henderson, Arte Johnson and, of course, a certain Spanish-accented blonde with an adorable lisp. ‘Charo is one of the most interesting people I ever met,’ MacLeod says. ‘She’s the second best flamenco guitarist in the world.’ During the mid-80s, MacLeod and his then-ex, Patti, remarried and became evangelical Christians. The MacLeods, who have seven children and 10 grandchildren, hosted ‘Back on Course’ on Trinity Broadcasting Network show for 23 years. The MacLeods moved from Rancho Mirage to Cape Cod before settling in the Highlands in 2001. Privately, MacLeod has endured much in recent years. He survived a heart attack. Last year, he broke his arm in a fluke fall near Monument and Sunset. His wife has also struggled with various afflictions. But MacLeod does not dwell on his problems. Instead, he offers the warm smile that made Capt. Stubing a weekly guest in the living rooms of millions of Americans. ‘I’m like Mr. Everyman,’ MacLeod admits. ‘I consider myself a blessed brown bagger. I’m grateful for every day.’ ??Pierson Playhouse is located at 941 Temescal Canyon Rd. Tickets: $10. Contact: 310-454-1970. Michael@palipost.com

‘My teacher is an idiot and I’m not going to do this assignment; it’s stupid.’ Parents who have heard this from their children and don’t know how to respond will appreciate Susan Stiffelman’s new book, ‘Parenting Without Power Struggles.’ An educational therapist and family counselor who specializes in working with children and teens, Stiffleman will sign her book and answer parenting questions on January 14 at Village Books, 1049 Swarthmore Ave. Stiffleman uses a unique approach to parenting that is not found in the majority of self-help books. ‘I have probably read 50 parenting books in my life and this is the best one ever,’ Palisadian Christine Steele wrote on the Amazon blog. In an interview with the Palisadian-Post, Stiffleman explained that many parenting books are based on the idea of manipulating a child. The Malibu-based counselor has developed a different technique, which starts with parents examining their beliefs and thoughts and why their children push their ‘buttons.’ One woman came to her office with her two daughters and announced that her children were driving her crazy. Stiffleman sent the girls out to play, and explained to the mother that she needed to understand her own family history and child-rearing ideas first. ‘My work is about having parents look at themselves,’ she said. ‘Parents need to learn not to be reactive. Once they accomplish that, they have a genuine authority that kids respond to.’ She emphasizes that parents need to be the ‘pack’ leader, and offers suggestions to prevent an escalating struggle. Using a visual image of two hands, Stiffleman asks what happens if a person puts up a palm to your hand and pushes it. You push back. She said that happens when you push a child to do something, they push back or refuse, but, she adds, this doesn’t have to happen. ‘Kids cooperate when they feel close to you and when you make a request from a sense of connectedness,’ she said. ‘A child who is securely attached to you is far more inclined to follow your direction.’ Stiffleman speaks about ‘Act I’ and ‘Act II’ questions or comments that can go a long way in diffusing a situation and encouraging even the surliest of teenagers to open up. If a child calls the teacher stupid, a parent will most likely go to Act II, saying something like ‘Your teacher is qualified and knows the subject.’ Stiffleman says that is a left-logical, rational brain response, but the kid, in his or her frustration and anger, is using the right brain, which is not built for logical language. A parent might instead use an Act I response like, ‘Oh, sweetie,’ or ‘What’s it like to be you?’ ‘I call it my comic book language because a parent uses minimal words and is empathetic,’ Stiffleman said, noting it’s not the right time to offer advice or take what a child says personally. By staying calm and remaining in control of the situation, a parent can get to the heart of the issue. ‘We try to rush to the punch line, Act II, and solve the problem,’ she said, adding that if a child explodes, parents can view that as a time to find out more information about what is going on with their child. Stiffleman has a 19-year-old son, who is a freshman at American University in Washington majoring in peace and conflict resolution, as part of the international studies program. She also writes a column on parenting on AOL. Visit: www.passionateparenting.net. Contact: 310-454-4063. features@palipost.com

Once again, author Patrice Karst has wrapped a simple truth in a book pleasingly imaginative and subtly powerful. The former Palisadian will introduce her latest children’s book, ‘The Smile That Went Around the World,’ on Friday, January 15 at Kids Pajama Storytime, 6:30 p.m. at Village Books on Swarthmore. The story conveys the infectiousness of a smile and its magical ability as the universal language to convert its recipients to being open and receptive. Coached in the colorful world of illustrator Jana Christy, ‘The Smile’ begins with a mother and son, as with Karst’s first children’s book, ‘The Invisible String,’ a motif that reflects Karst’s experience with her own son when he was a little boy; he is now 18. ‘The Invisible String’ again focuses on a simple idea that we are all connected, and to visualize this truth, Karst uses the invisible string that connects one heart to another’s. ”Invisible String’ helps kids with any kind of loss, whether it’s parent-child separation at school or the death of an animal,’ Karst says. As with many creative, energetic people, Karst is ignited by the white heat of multiple ideas. In her case, she preaches the philosophy of ‘Keeping it Simple, Keeping it Real.’ In a recent article for Vision magazine, she describes the fad of spirituality as ‘watered down, sugary sweet, invested with a ‘holier than you’ aura.’ Whereas her everyday heroes are ‘those brave, wondrous and therefore interesting people who have a voice’those who tell us the truths of their lives, even the ugly parts.’ While all of this may sound pontificating, Karst is her own best representative, full of joy and a considerable sense of fun. She will read her book and allow the children in the audience to respond and add their tales to hers. Karst’s first book, ‘God Made Easy’ (published in 1995) has sold over 50,000 copies and has been translated into French, German, Italian and Dutch. A simple little primer, the book is an entertaining, user-friendly guide to the human condition. For more information, visit www.patricekarst.com. Lifestyle@palipost.com

Fred Wolf and Calia Mintzer announced their engagement recently, bringing their six-year courtship to an official conclusion. The couple plan to marry on January 24 in Culver City. Mintzer first met Wolf at a Culver City senior dance, and the spark of love was evident from their first twirl around the floor. Calia has been a member of Kentwood Players for 54 years and has been active on stage as well as backstage. She has also been on the board of managers as group sales chairwoman. She has been working at Coldwell Banker Real Estate in Brentwood as a receptionist for 25 years. She has four daughters and 13 grandchildren. Wolf, a Holocaust survivor, is recognizable to many Palisadians for his friendly, outgoing manner as an employee at Gelson’s. After the war, Wolf moved to the newly formed Israel before returning to Germany to reclaim family property. He and his first wife had two children, both of whom now live in the Los Angeles area. For 30 years, Wolf owned and ran the Cork and Bottle liquor store on Lincoln. He sold the business in 1993 and shortly after signed on at Gelson’s. Calia and Fred are looking forward to their honeymoon in Hawaii and to many happy years together with their blended families and wonderful friends.