A Palisadian Perspective
By WENDY FIERSTEIN | Contributing Writer
It’s that time of the year: Flowers are starting to show their beautiful spring colors and their intoxicating fragrance drifts through the air. Creatures of all kinds are seeking their mates—that includes humans.
There’s just something about spring that refreshes our emotions, our enthusiasm for living … and loving. It’s exciting!
Spring love is for everyone, it’s not just for those who are “in love” and getting ready to tie the knot, it’s also for those who have forgotten about love in their marriage.
Rekindling the passion in a relationship is not as difficult as you may think. The fire that was initially ignited is always there, waiting for you to revive it, no matter how many years have gone by.
To rekindle the spark, we must change certain negative judgments that we have made toward our spouse for some time. These negative thoughts distort our view of our life partner, and as time goes by, we begin to believe them.
Thoughts can be self-fulfilling. If you are constantly thinking “this is not working” or “I don’t love him/her anymore,” these kinds of thoughts can ruin a potentially good marriage.
The good news is you have complete control over your thoughts. Chase out those persistent little troublemakers and replace them with kind and respectful thoughts.
Even if you don’t feel love for your spouse at the time, be persistent, it will eventually catch fire. Be patient and consistent; It took time to get where you are now, so it will take time to build up again.
Your partner doesn’t even have to be aware of your ambition. When your spouse starts to feel like they are the center of your attention, it will sooner or later get their attention. Don’t expect instant miracles—that’s a setup for disappointment.
Start doing the things that made you feel good about each other when you were courting, start having fun together again. When the passion has been rekindled, the love will be stronger than ever before because you will realize what you almost lost.
Science informs us that a simple hug from our loved one can release those wonderful “feel-good” hormones. When it’s a love hug, as I call it, the experience can leave a husband and wife feeling even more bonded.
Try this (an excerpt from my book “You Can Live Happily Married for a Lifetime”): “Hug your spouse and stay in each other’s arms. Relax, close your eyes and put your cheeks together. Slowly run your hands up and down your partner’s back. Inhale each other’s essence.
“Think about how much you love your spouse and how much he or she loves you. Stay that way for at least five minutes.
“When you separate, look into each other’s eyes and see the love that you were thinking about and feeling from your spouse. You will automatically be smiling, because you will be experiencing that ‘love-high’ and you will feel even more bonded.”
Love is in the air … let it permeate every cell in your mind and body until it has no choice but to overflow into your marriage and reignite the passion.
Contributed by Wendy Fierstein author of the book “You Can Live Happily Married for a Lifetime” available on Amazon. Coming to the Bed Bath and Beyond Bridal Registry, spring 2019.
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