‘Jimmy Dunne Says’

‘Grades and Soup’

I just read an article about how kids in grade schools, high schools and colleges shouldn’t have grades.

There were lots of big words in this way-too-long story about the effects of grades on some kids, and some cultures, and some backgrounds, and some everything.

If your kids have a pulse and a noodle on top of their necks, they were in at least one of the groups they mentioned.

Here’s the bottom line point they were making …

Maybe it’s just too stressful for kids to have grades. Grades can hurt their feelings.

What a bunch of you-know-what.

Life is competitive.

I think we’re getting too soft.

And humans aren’t the only competitive ones out there.

Pick any animal. Maybe a robin. A frog. A goat. A whale. A grasshopper. An elephant.

When you net it out, we’re all kind of about the “big three.”

Staying alive. Finding “Mr. or Mrs. Right.” And having fun along the ride.

All three are competitive. Wildly competitive.

If you’re a robin, you’re snapping your head around morning, noon and night like you’re the girl in “The Exorcist”—making sure you’re not anyone’s next meal.

You’re also making sure you look as dapper as possible to catch the eye of one fine-looking little birdie stopping by the neighborhood.

And on the fun side? Worms are fun. Flying is fun. Vacationing with friends in the south in the winter is fun. And it’s fun singing in the morning about what a great day it is to be alive.

Back to grades. I suppose we can only go by our own experiences.

Here’s mine.

I was kind of an odd duck in college. I loved taking too many classes and learning about different stuff.

But, no doubt about it, it would have been a whole different ballgame if there were no grades. No tests. No accountability.

I liked grades. I liked looking around the room on test day at the dopes on my left and right, and thinking about how I was going to kick their butts as soon as that exam booklet hit the desk.

Growing up, little league baseball was competitive. Asking girls out was competitive. Sports couldn’t have been more competitive.

Grass-cutting jobs, shoveling snow, Boy Scouts, caddying, talent shows, fraternities, you name it—everything we all did was competitive.

At a grade school in town, the most popular game on the playground is “four-square.”

So fun.

The grade school sent out a memo saying no more four-square.

It makes kids too sad when they lose.

What?

You win some, you lose some. You figure it out. You figure out what you’re good at—and what you like doing.

Four-square is life in a nutshell. You try to stay in the game, you try to look cool doing it and you have a blast along the way.

Here’s my takeaway.

It’s amazing times. Like no other time before. And it’s moving so fast for kids today. “Tomorrow” is more of an unknown than ever before.

Throw all that in the soup—maybe, for kids, the answer is somewhere in the middle.

Speaking of soup, maybe that’s our job as parents, or grandparents.

Help ’em be good cooks.

Coach ’em on adding in just the right amount of each ingredient.

A little bit of smarts. A teaspoon of a moral compass. A couple cups of integrity. Sprinkle in a little nice.

And a dash or two of tough.

But the best thing in the soup? It’s what gives it its delicious flavor.

A big, big scoop of love.

Jimmy Dunne is a modern-day Renaissance Man; a hit songwriter (28 million hit records), screenwriter/producer of hit television series, award-winning author, an entrepreneur—and a Palisadian “Citizen of the Year.” You can reach him at j@jimmydunne.com or jimmydunne.substack.com.