Q: Thanks to a job where I can work from home and a couple of retired local grandparents, I have been able to keep my baby home with me since she was born. Now that she’s approaching a year old, I am wondering, at what age is it really beneficial to have her around other babies/toddlers her age? Are there benefits to socialization now?

Photo by Jeff Lipsky
First of all, how lucky you are to have had the help of local grandparents. Lucky baby and lucky grandparents, too!
Yours is a great question because it gives me the opportunity to write about the importance of socialization with young children. By young I am not referring to 4-month-olds, however. Rather, I am talking about the stage at which children have “awakened,” when they really notice what is going on around them. Five or 6 months is the typical age; the child has started really blossoming.
Even though the child may just be learning to differentiate between me and someone/something else, our youngest children do love seeing other children, people just like them. Have you noticed how they love the book with real photos of babies? There is a true fascination. And that is the beginning.
There is so much these little people learn from being exposed to other children, just being close by, just by observing at first. And as they grow, the exposure and reaching out to other children—touching, poking, grabbing bodies and hair, whatever the child is holding—forms the foundation for differentiating between self and others. It is the very beginning of socialization. So, yes, exposing children to other children in small takes is a great idea.
But does a 1-year-old need to be with other children for extended periods of time? I don’t think so. It is quite a different story to put a child in a day care program than to expose him to other children.
Let me be clear, when day care is needed because both parents work in addition to their work as parents or it is a single parent family, I am a fan. There are many day care situations that are developmentally appropriate, licensed and just plain great. (And there are those that are not, sadly.) When it is a must, I am a fan.
I would rather have my very young child under the watchful eye of a professional day care teacher than at home in front of a screen or with an inadequate nanny. THAT is for sure.
But is it necessary at age 1? I repeat, I say no.
Are there things you can be doing in the comfort of familiar home and neighborhood with a consistent person who has the time for the one-on-one from which all children benefit, that meets the child’s need for gradual social exposure and development? Yes. Visiting the park; being out in the world; forming a little adult-baby group; participating in short classes suited to babies; enjoying plenty of play/free time where other children are playing. All of these meet the need for socialization with the 1-year-old. As the child grows and develops, so will her/his need for more socialization, experiences with others in “getting along.”
There are many parents who feel their child “needs” more stimulation by the time s/he is 2 years old. While I am not one of them, it certainly is their choice. But at least a 2-year-old is typically developed enough to benefit from a consistent, very small group program with a professional teacher, like day care. Some parents even choose to start their child in a preschool program at that young age. There are pros and cons. And every family has a different situation.
So, yes, socialization is a critical part of growing up, starting at an early age. There are many ways to introduce the social world to the young child, besides day care. How it is done can make a tremendous difference in the child’s social and emotional foundations.
BBB is a child development and behavior specialist in Pacific Palisades. She can be reached through betsybrownbraun.com.
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