Ask BBB

Q: What do you do if you hate your marriage but love your lifestyle?

In case you have never read my bio, allow me to point out that my specialization is children of all ages. Yes, it is true that some adults are still children. But dealing with adult issues is not my area of greatest strength.

However, I want you to know something that I always preach: In order to be the best parent you can be (or, actually, the best anything), you need to make sure your own emotional house is in order. And your marriage lives in that house!

Each partner in a relationship has the responsibility to own and care for her/his self. That includes emotional health. It also includes the health of your relationship.

In my practice, I see parents all day, every day. It is not infrequent that I am sure the problem the parents are experiencing with the child is a reflection of a problem or issue in their relationship, a marital issue. I refer many a parent out to do a little couples work with a qualified counselor.

I share with you that my husband and I will celebrate our 47th wedding anniversary this year. I am rather amazed at that myself! We have had our share of ups and downs—every relationship does. But we are both in it for the long haul, and there is a solid foundation of love and respect on which we are married.

Before you throw in the towel, I urge you to consider couples therapy. If after you have given it a fair chance and you are sure yours is a loveless marriage, the decision should be easier for you to make.