Welcome to Fireball’s SCAManomics 101

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OK, let’s talk about oil for a second. Not the kind you rub all over your body when you take a bath with your … wait, hold on … actually, I’m talking about car oil. The kind that goes into your car to make it run smoothly. Now, I could make recommendations for what kind of oil to use or what kind of filter (Hubb Filters are the best, by the way) but alas, that would be a seriously boring article and I’m not into boring.

So, instead, let’s talk about knowledge and empowerment when it comes to your car. There are lots of people out there that will try to soak you dry of your cash if you run into them without a sense of knowledge about your vehicle and how it works. I mean, it would be pretty weird if an alien landed here on Earth in a spaceship and we asked him how it works and he said, “Don’t know! It just floats.” We’d be surprised, but we drive these cars around with little or no knowledge about how they work, the laws that surround them and what to do in a sticky situation.

But never fear ‘cause the Fireball is here. And I’m gonna give you the SCAM Skinny and show you how to navigate the world of cars with ease.

So let’s start with “S.” This sexy and curvy letter stands for “security.” Being secure in the knowledge of vehicular contraptions is a plus for anyone. Security comes from asking friends and family for help in solving an issue­—any issue. Everyone has been through tickets, oil change runarounds and the “fix it or it will fall off” game that many shops sponsor like poppin’ M&Ms. So ask for help, don’t be in a rush and take action when you feel confident in your knowledge. But don’t budge until then.

“C” stands for “CARnacopia,” as in you can never learn too much about your car and the driving world around you. So, a thirst for new ideas, knowledge and an expanding vision should be high on your bucket list. And, knowing that we generally get what we’re afraid of, it’s important to know as much as we can so we can make an informed decision.

Feel like you’re getting reamed on a ticket? Then spend the time to learn the laws so it doesn’t happen again. But first and foremost, take responsibility for your part, then move on. This is not about blaming, it’s about seek and destroy with awesomeness. Still with me?

“A” stands for … wait for it … wait for it … yes, “awesome.” The word awesome comes from the Greek adjective aw solo meo, which means if you focus on the awesome, you tend to get the awesome. (Man, I’m good.)

Getting too many tickets? Stop driving like a fool and improve your skills. Getting haggled at the local auto body shop? Rip that car away and find a new one. It’s about being proactive, people, not a victim. And feeling sorry for yourself or complaining only brings on more of the badness. So concentrate on the awesome, get ‘er done and head on down the road to success.

And finally, we land at “M” and I literally have sat here for 5 minutes and can’t find anything for this stupid letter so I’m going with “T” instead, which turns SCAM into SCAT and that’s just plain funny. And that “T” stands for “terrific!” And since terrific is actually one of those words that is beginning to get lost in our language, let me give it a boost by saying that our lives are what we make them to be. If you worry about scams, you’ll get scams. If you believe someone’s out to get you, then they are. But if you cultivate a mindset that’s about putting forth your best self and that all things work out for all parties, even if someone tries to screw you, then guess what? All things will work out, and that, my fine scat brothers and sisters, is totally terrific. And as Shakespeare said, “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”

So, there you have it. Fireball’s SCATanomics Principles 101. Yes, there are bad people in this world and those that suffer because of them. But they suffer because they don’t know that although it seems they are in a prison, they are actually standing there holding the key with the door is open. It all depends on your perspective, so choose your thoughts wisely and the scams that you thought were out to get you will vanish before your eyes. And life once again, will be awesome.

And now, it’s time for ice cream. Peace out, people!