By JOHN HARLOW | Contributing Writer
When Sherri Nader was a young middle-class mother in her native Tehran, during the early stages of the grisly and futile Iran-Iraq War of the 1980s, the Iraqi air force bombed her street. They slaughtered 30 children at a birthday party.
Even today the Marquez Knolls resident will jump at loud noises, a lingering element of post-traumatic stress disorder that peers say may be one reason why she is such an empathetic teen and family therapist—whatever they have been through, she can recognize that moment of pain.
Now Nader is preparing her first book, under the working title “From Tehran to the Palisades,” which will trace how she remade herself in America—and how, even today, with reports of mental disorders on the rise, one can find a psychologically peaceful place in modern society.
Nader does not overreach: Unlike a stereotypical California guru, she does not promise enlightenment or, even tougher, happiness.
In private practice in the Palisades or in her other office in Encino, if a troubled soul arrives asking to be made happy, which they have, she says that is an ambition too far.
There is a massive body of research, spearheaded by East Coast scholar Marty Seligman, suggesting that one can overcome “learned helplessness” and change the environment to make one’s life more positive, but there is a reason why the Founding Fathers only offered the pursuit of happiness. There are no guarantees.
But Nader, who suspects that anxiety is among the most common of mental maladies among teens in the Palisades, can help Palisadians forge a course into calmer waters.
It has been a long road from her war-torn childhood home, where even in good days she felt like part of a dispossessed minority—a woman—to private practice, from learning about Western style social work at the University of Southern California to teaching there.
But the motivation remains the same.
“I came from a country where everyone looked the same and, largely, talked the same. Felt the same,” she told the Palisadian-Post. “But when I came to the United States with my two children in the 1980s, everyone was so different from each other—so I had to learn to identify the common humanity underneath.”
In Tehran she had worked in laboratories on blood identification among other scientific endeavors, so she was able to transfer academic qualifications across the Atlantic, studying in the USC master’s program.
Her USC degree is in clinical social work; Her doctorate from Ryokan College in West Los Angeles is in clinical psychology
In 2007 Nader became one of three clinical psychologists for LA Unified School District based in the Van Nuys office, where she was dealing with the aftermath of suicides and shootings, as well as the routine effects of family sundering, depression and economic stress.
“It could be very tough, but you see all sides of life there—and you realize that, underneath it all, the problems in Van Nuys or Encino are not that different from the Palisades.”
Last year she stopped working for LAUSD to focus on her own practice and community work closer to home.
“I realized I could do some good here, in the Palisades,” she said.
So, what are the issues facing out teens?
Anxiety, stresses from constant over-scheduling and well-intentioned but fearful parents—“They could learn to pick their battles, know what is worth fighting for and let the small things be: not always pointing out the faults, as happened in my childhood home”—and, of course, drugs.
Not just weed smoked in a public park, itself a serious challenge for the unformed brain.
More like the over-medicated teen or the uncounted parental pills that go missing, the empty bottle.
She deals with deeply troubled 12 year olds, mediating with parents, helping them all communicate and assess how serious the problem is.
Sometimes it’s a passing fad, sometimes it’s a bad path.
Such crises rarely gets to rehab, an unregulated industry that is facing increasing scrutiny over its pricey and often useless practices.
But she has some advice for parents looking at choices: Don’t opt for the barebones practice or the super-luxurious where clients have the economic upper hand, but somewhere in the middle with strong management and clear metrics of success. Nor does it have to be next door—she works with a clinic in Santa Barbara, but only as a last resort.
Now she is remaking herself once again, dealing with the psychologically literate residents in the Palisades who are educated enough know what they want—if not always what they need.
There have been many steps from Tehran, or even Van Nuys, but at last Sherri Nader is at home.
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