Abuse Survivor Encourages Family Dialogue

“The truth about perpetrators, whether physical, psychological or sexual is that they don’t take no for an answer… No matter what you say,” Angelica Hernández, Ph. D. told the Palisadian-Post.

The Palisades Elementary School parent, who has a Master’s degree in psychological studies and a Doctorate in social science, dons a tower of hats. She is a teacher, writer, researcher and artist. She is also a survivor of sexual abuse and sexual trauma.

Hernández led a dialogue entitled “5 Questions Every Parent Should Ask Themselves About Sexual Abuse” on Friday, Dec. 5 at the Palisades Branch Library as a way to increase awareness and encourage open discussion within families.

“Children are molested in the Palisades just as they are in East L.A.,” Hernandez told the small crowd predominantly made up of women eager to hear her story and learn how to prevent their children from falling prey to sexual predators.

“We don’t know what happens in people’s houses,” she told the group, saying that it doesn’t matter how beautifully manicured the lawns are or how affluent people are. Even in communities like the Palisades, sexual abuse happens, she said.

“Let’s not be paranoid, but let’s be alert,” Hernandez said. “It just takes seconds for a perpetrator to narrow in on a victim.”

Hernandez, who was sexually abused as a child by a stranger and as a young adult by an acquaintance, stressed the importance of knowing who your kids will be around, encouraging them to use the buddy system when out in public and encouraging them to trust their intuitions when something doesn’t feel right.

“What I hope people will do is to be able to have an open dialogue with their partners or spouses and have a conversation with their kids,” she said. “Don’t obliterate their intuitions. Honor your child’s sense of themselves.”

5 Questions Every Parent Should Ask Themselves About Sexual Abuse

1. How do I teach my child boundaries?

2. In what ways do I support my child to talk openly/make decisions for him or herself?

3. How do I encourage my child to talk about his or her body without shame?

4. How do I teach my child to say “No” or “Stop” while maintaining my parental authority?

5. What is the benefit of having a code “phrase”?